I full admit — I have been a very negligent ABO.U member.  Judging from my most recent posts, I seem to only update when either I have cancer or a kid.  I intend for this to be just a regular ass post about my regular ass life.  And, for what its worth, I haven’t posted on my personal blog in ages.

So, you may or may not know, but I’m in the business of valuing real estate.  It isn’t noble or especially gratifying, but I can solemnly swear I never outrageously overvalued a property thus contributing to further inflating the bubble.  Girl scouts’ honor.  Anyhow, I have been an appraiser for many years now and I have my own firm.  It would be fair to say that the recent credit tightening and the nosedive in home values has pretty much wiped the floor with my firm’s ass.  In 2008, I basically made $0 from mid-July through November.  Do you have any idea what making no money for 4.5 months tastes like?

Like ramen and bad attitude, that’s what.

But in this business, you expect slow months, lean times, famines, etc.  It is just part of the game.  But around October, I recognized that this famine might be more prolonged than I was prepared to tolerate.  Long story short, I was offered a position doing high risk analytics at everyone’s favorite government sponsored enterprise.  I won’t say which one because, dudes, I needs this job.  But suffice it to say, it has been really fucking eye opening.  I was assigned California as my territory.  I am personally responsible for the loss mit of every single high risk asset in the state of California, arguably the worst housing market in the US.  I mean, sure, Detroit, MI is a shit hole place with a glut of shit hole houses for sale, but the losses there are meager.  What cost $18,000 a year ago is now only worth $8,000.  But in Cali, I lose the American tax payer between $3-5mil a day from my desk.  For seriously.

So, take heart, my little unemployed wings.  Be sure to pick up my latest book, “I Saved Myself From Personal Insolvency By Sticking It To The Tax Payer, And So Can You”.

Also, kids are adorable geniuses and husband is fly like disco lemonade.

Peace outs, cub scouts!