Me and food: we have a on-again/off-again relationship. Which is not to say I ever dislike food; to the contrary, I love food, and usually can’t get enough. Which is where the problem always lies: like two red-hot lovers, food and I are engaged in a perpetual cycle of violence, disengagement, renewal, and sex. (“Get away from me, you bastard!” “But I love you!” “SHUT UP!” “I hit you because I LOVE you!” “I can’t be without you.” “Let’s make out.”) Like Bobby and Whitney.

Why the cycle? Because my tongue craves the wrong things: ice cream, fluffy pastries, freedom fries, Doritos™, Pepsi™, cake, pie, ice cream cake, freedom pie, deep fried ice cream, Pepsi™ Doritos™. Etc. And as a result, my will-power ebbs and flows. When I’m good, I follow the advice of nutrionists; when bad, I eat whatever my lust tells me to.

However, I’m beginning to now think that even when I’m “good,” I’m not so good–that even when I was a vegetarian, my diet was far from healthy. When I dropped 40 lbs. back in ‘02, I ate a lot of protein bars and breakfast cereal and diet soda. Healthy? Probably not, but instead, simply calorie deficient (also, I ran a LOT). Oh, I ate a lot of low-fat foods… but as I’ve come to discover, these are rarely healthy for you. DAMN YOU FOOD MARKETERS!!!

So what’s my point? I feel like over the past few months my eyes have been opened to a new way of eating that contradicts past habits and current conventional wisdom. I’ve watched my diet carefully for a long time, and for a while fully bought into the health claims of manufactured foods that touted themselves as this or that (I’m lookin at you, highly processed fat-free all-natural vegetarian packaged foodstuff!) But now the paradigm has changed.

The eye opening has happened in two parts: first, I decided to start a new fitness plan that eschewed carbohydrates for the first month (working them back in later). What a change. This forced me to eat in a way I hadn’t eaten since… well, honestly, never. For breakfast, usually an egg scramble with some turkey and mushrooms. For lunch, a spinach salad with red peppers, broccoli, celery, olives, and blue cheese. For dinner, a grilled chicken breast with asparagus, onion, cucumbers, and tomatoes. (For example.) And it felt GREAT — I felt stronger than I ever had on previous plans, and the occassional acne breakouts I’ve had since puberty stopped. (Seriously.) I haven’t craved sugar since, which is super weird.

Then Dina picked up In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan’s follow-up to this bestselling Omnivore’s Dilemma (which I haven’t yet read). This book validated many of the food choices I had recently made, and explained further why I felt such an uptick in health as a result. The thesis of the book comes straight from his previous book: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” This seems obvious on its face, but is harder to do in practice, given the large amounts of processed food and oversized portions that permeates our grocery stores and restaurants, particularly in the form of high-fructose corn syrup (which I’ve come to regard as the devil), and processed flours and grains.

Implicit in his thesis was a move to a whole foods diet–to paraphrase, eating “what your great-grandmother ate”–and away from the fake, gutted, processed, manufactured “food” that’s been marketed to us for the past 50 or 60 years. How to do this? He offers a few simple guidelines: shop on the edges of your grocery store (meat, produce, dairy); go to your local farmer’s market; avoid packaged foods; don’t buy foods made of ingredients you don’t recognize; etc. Pollan also warns against foods that market themselves as health foods (“7-Up — natural and fat free!”), and argues that normal fats (yes, animal fats even) are good, and part of a normal, moderate diet, but fake fats (trans fats, margarine) are never good. Worst of all are the highly refined sugars and flours that are in everything — Cheerios, white bread, barbeque sauce, juice, peanut butter, and other sorts of seemingly inocuous foodstuffs. These are so quickly processed by our bodies that what we can’t immediately burn is stored as fat, and thus arguably responsible for the obesity epeidemic the U.S. is currently experiencing. So, fat doesn’t necessarily make you fat. Sugar and other refined carbs do. Way to go, low-fat diet revolution.

Lastly, Pollan takes nutrionial science to task for its focus on micronutrients–ignoring the wide-ranging diets of the human population at large, and instead prescribing narrow dietary guidelines based on on those nutrients themselves (hence, fortified Wonderbread), rather than on a more holistic diet containing foods that might naturally contain those nutrients.

In short, this is a very good book, a quick read, and highly recommended if you’re at all interested in nutrition, food marketing, or food politics. If you’re a vegetarian or a carnivore, there’s something to be learned, and the book doesn’t advocate any particular dietary choice, other than eat stuff that’s natural and make moderate choices. Wise advice.

Spoiler alert!

Joking.

Dina and I saw the film tonight, and while I’m no articulate, erudite critic, I CAN say that this was one of the most eye-opening,  gut-wrenching movies I’ve seen in a long long time, and that all of you should see it immediately.

While the movie provides a lot to chew on, my big takeaway is this: although health care is a polarizing issue in this country, it shouldn’t be. Regardless of your political affiliation, health care should be a right, not a privilege, and if you don’t believe that you’re not a Democrat or a Republican or a Green, you’re simply an asshole. (Which might mean you’re a Libertarian.)

I’ll leave it at that. Has anyone else seen? Anyone want to chime in on the state of health care in America? I know a few of us work in the field . . . any thoughts?

And that’s the best part of having cancer — getting to spring it on people. I found out in February that I have cervical cancer — carcinoma in situ — which means, basically, that I have cancer but it hasn’t broken out of my cervix yet. I tried to hang on to the fact that what I have is not truly classified as frank cancer because it hasn’t invaded the surrounding structures, but my doc assured me that the cells appear cancerous under a scope. I gots the cancer, even if it is only in one of my reproductive organs. So, I go to have the better part of my cervix removed next Wednesday.

It would be a fair assessment to say that I am kind of devestated about this because I’d really like more children. And while having carcinoma in situ doesn’t preclude fertility or successful pregnancy, the procedure that I have to have done to get rid of it will negatively impact my ability to maintain a pregnancy, were I to release a mature egg that became magically, magically fertilized and then mysteriously implanted itself into my endometrium.

So, girls! Don’t be a prodigal daughter — get your pap on and get it on once every calendar year! I missed one annual exam (2006) and let me offer you my most resolute assurances — I wish I hadn’t. I’ve had “abnormal” paps before and even had to have some biopsies, but I never expected to have carcinoma in situ at 26. The crazy thing is that I tested negative for HPV — the prom queen of carcinogens. Sure, lots of things can predispose one to cervical cancer, but in my demographic, I think HPV is assumed with that diagnosis. My doctor said that, in all likelihood, my prediliction for the tobacco had something to do with the change in the cells. This, of course, came as a huge surprise, since I had no idea smoking was bad for you. </deadpan>

So, there that is. I have cancer but I won’t have it in a week or so because, with any luck, I’m going to have it all removed on Wednesday.

Kisses!

My friend Karrin, a woman I admire for her kindness and compassion as well as her sense of style, humor, and outright sillyness and loudness, is a person who is always giving. She is active in her church, our community, and owned her own business before her 26th birthday. In short, I think she is both awesome and amazing and I shouldn’t have been surprised when she told me she was training for a marathon. I was because I didn’t know she was a runner. It turns out she wasn’t and is using this race as a springboard to becoming a runner. I wasn’t surprised, however, when she told me she was doing it for a cause. She has chosen to run in the Rock n’ Roll Marathon for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. She is also documenting her training and fund raising efforts in a blog. As a non-runner, I’m enjoying her posts on early training sessions, because I just can’t imagine doing it myself, especially in the weather we’ve been having. Here is a bit of Karrin’s fundraising email that explains a bit about her decision to participate.

I’ve joined Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training, and will be running for my team’s honored teammate, Judy Mathews, and others who are fighting blood cancers. Judy is a local mom who was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease in 1999 and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2000, and who has been in remission for more than six years. I am running five times a week-which is new for me-including a longer training run on Saturday mornings. Training for this marathon is definitely a challenge, but a challenge I’m privileged to choose.

I find Karrin’s attitude and new goal inspiring and just wanted to spread the word. Please check out her blog and if you are looking for more ways to give, please consider the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

In my last post I briefly alluded to shopping at an antique store and buying something awesome. I promised pictures and here they are. Without further ado, I give the “The Mighty Marvel Comics Strength and Fitness Book.”

Published in 1974, this 128 page softcover book written by Ann Picardo and illustrated by Joe Giella details many Marvel superheroes workout routines. It includes a warm-up section with the human torch with exercises called “the Torchie Twist” and “the Johnny Storm Stroll”. It then goes on to sections about stretching with Mr. Fantastic, balance and posture with the Silver Surfer, agility with Spiderman, slimming with the Invisible Woman and strength with the Hulk. Each page gives instructions for the exercises as taught by the heroes and shows the character doing the pose. As if this wasn’t great enough, the ridiculous puns and cheesy writing makes it even better. Below are two pages just so you get the gist.

Ladies, please work out so your husband will notice you.

The book also includes fabulous and proven ideas about working out. The Thing would like you to continue this exercise until you vomit. While the book doesn’t include a warning about consulting your physician before starting a new fitness program like all exercise DVDs these days, it does include an introduction by one Alvin Rober Mintz, M.D. He writes, “Fat people, heed and take notice! As you perform the exercises you’ll be learning in this book, the health you will be gaining can someday make you a superhero!” The best advice, however, comes from Spiderman on the last page of the book.

I don’t know how much this book is worth, but I’m sure at $20 I overpaid. It is easily the coolest thing I’ve bought at an antique store. Price doesn’t matter much though, when it comes my health. I’m taking notice and I’m going to be a superhero soon. With this book, I can’t fail.

Perhaps its because Dina insists that I pay attention to her and not the computer (wha!?), but I feel as though I have less time to tell a bunch of us about the goings on in my exciting life. So here, in this post, I shall attempt to bring a bunch of us up to date.

Tale Numero Uno

BumGuff keeps on giving. I went to a reception last week at the mid-winter ALA meeting hosted by BumGuff, a bunch of us’ former employer, and doer of many things good. At said reception I feasted on mashed potato martinis and had three beers, gratis. I also had a chance to catch up with many former co-workers, rub elbows with some uppity ups, and generally remind everyone that I’ll be graduating and on the job market again soon.

BumGuff keeps on giving. The 24 Hour Fitness membership BumGuff paid for in September of 2003 finally expired in September. However, I forgot to renew, having taken up exercising at the UW’s exceptional IMA. Dina expressed interest in going to the gym reccently — she hasn’t been on her usual kung fu routine since she started hunting for a condo and studying in earnest for her exams — so I said maybe we should check out 24 Hour, since there’s an express on Queen Anne. She could work out at the IMA, but it would cost her $7 a visit; better to get her own membership somewhere. So we headed down to 24 Hour . . . on a whim, I brought my card, and asked if there was anything they could do for me, having been a past member. The convo went something like this:

Them: Well, let us check (runs card through database . . . eyes light up). Well, yeah, you’re within the six month grace period, so we can give you the same deal you had before.

Me: Sweet. What was that? (Thinking it wouldn’t be much of a deal at all — after all, BumGuff paid for it originally)
Them: $20
Me: (Thinking $20 a month — pretty cheap for a good gym).
Them: Would you like to pay now?
Me: Yeah . . . so, can I pay for three months?
Them: Um. Well, you don’t want to pay for the whole year? It’s only $20.
Me: Whoa.

Thanks BumGuff!

Tale Numero Dos

In my last crush list installment, I was crushing on my newly fixed car. That didn’t last long; now my car is in the dog house (well, Honda of Seattle’s service department, actually), due to a bad alternator. The catastrophe went down like this:

Driving from school to downtown Seattle last night, I noticed my lights and dash were a little dim. The battery light had come on the day before for a little while, and was on again now. I figured that maybe the car was becoming adjusted to the new battery I had just put in the car. Like those nagging aches and pains in my aging body, I figured it was nothing, and that it would straighten itself out. (Yeah yeah, I know.) Well, shit hit the proverbial fan on the Univeristy Bridge. The bridge decided to go up just as I was about to cross it, so I stopped to wait for it, and was first in line. As I waited I noticed my lights were getting progressively dimmer. I started to freak out, so I called Dina and told her I was heading home. While on the phone I watched the RPMs drop to zero, and felt the car completely die. I turned it off, and tried to start it again: nothing. Dead. Ugh. There were a bunch of bicyclists and runners waiting for the bridge to go down, so I asked them to help me push the car across the bridge when it went back down. But they wouldn’t. The best I could get them to do was push it to the side of the bridge and wedge it in a little corner of the bike path, barely out of the way of traffic (and in fact, about a foot of my tail continued to stick out into the driving lane). I called a tow truck, and then spent 45 minutes flagging down bicyclists to make sure they didn’t run into my car (there was NO way to get around my car, except to drive in traffic. Me: asshole.) Fun night.

So, what’s the lesson? Floss your teeth, back up your hard drive, keep extra batteries and flash lights around, exercise regularly, eat right, invest most of your extra cash but keep a rainy day fund, call your mom on Mother’s Day, and never, ever, invade Russia in winter.

Some of you know that I’m one of the many boring people that is trying to get in shape and lose weight. (I won the partner contest in December for the Biggest Loser at work by losing 14.8 pounds!) But I gained 7 back and we’re doing it again. Since it worked before, against everything I used to believe in, I’m dieting. The hardest part of dieting is not the giving up of all the things you like to eat or the dragging your ass to the gym, but instead it’s the becoming high maintenance that kills me.

Here’s the thing. I’m doing Weight Watchers and I love it (I never thought I would say that). It appeals to the database girl inside of me that likes to fill my spreadsheet with what I’ve eaten and calculate the points (see “google-whore“). It’s ilke a puzzle I get to do every night. But I also like that I really can eat what I want if I realize that eating that piece of chocolate means less steak and no wine. Or drinking that glass of wine means veggies for a snack instead of popcorn. You know what I mean? It’s all about realizing moderation and how you just can’t eat on impulse and fill your gut with everything your heart desires without having to live with the consequences.

And then there’s the exercise. Even though it is really hard to get into the habit, I am generally happier after the gym and I try to tap into that emotion every time I go. Having books on my mp3 player to listen to or NPR or watching the food network while I do the machines (I know, crazy?) helps get through it.

So what is this high maintenance crap I’m talking about? Well, I always prided myself in being someone who likes most food, will try anything, and even though I may have some favorite restaurants I’ll lobby for, I’ll go almost anywhere and will order everything if people will let me. But now I have to carefully choose the restaurant and when people want an appetizer I have to decline and if my sisters want to share something and they pick a dish that will kill my points I have to bow out. It’s really hard for me to be the picky one. I hate it. But I’m learning how to work with most places now that I am memorizing how many points everything is. It’s not just food though either. I need to start to be high maintenance about my time as well. “No, I can’t meet you for dinner after work because I need to go to the gym.” That kind of shit. Realizing that I really won’t go if I don’t go right away. Maybe I need to go in the morning, but that’s like rewiring my entire personality.

How boring is this post? Well let me leave you with two things I have come to love. Because I rarely eat pasta or cheese while trying to lose weight, because those eat my points up so fast I wanna cry, I have to find alternatives. You can imagine how happy I was to discover Carba-Nada noodles which are hardly any points and actually taste like fresh pasta (and cook in four minutes, I love that).

And then there are the cute little Light Laughing Cow cheese bites. They taste really good and I can have 5 of them for only 1 point! Inside the wrapper they also have fun factoids like today’s was “New Zealand was the first place women got the vote.”

I’ll keep sharing if anyone’s interested and I apologize in advance if some of my posts begin to get too focused on this. But there it is.