(cross-posted at my blog)

So as previously noted, I am unemployed, going on three weeks now. In an effort to keep myself busy, I’ve painted two entire rooms, as well as attempting to assume all cleaning duties around the house (an endeavor the Special Lady Friend has informed me that, in no uncertain terms, I am terrible at.)

Also, I stopped shaving immediately after losing my job, the better to show solidarity with my millions of brothers in the Great Hirsute Unemployed Brotherhood:

These days, the hirsute pursuit has evolved into a full-blown, full-grown trend. According to the marketing research company The NPD Group, sales of electric shavers and men’s facial trimmers have dipped 12 percent just in the last year while beard-related activities are, well, bristling.

Beard Team USA, a division of the World Beard and Moustache Championships, boasts 36 chapters in the U.S. alone, many in urban hotspots such as Los Angeles, Dallas, St. Louis and New York. There are beard contests and beard blogs, mustache movies and facial hair fundraisers.

(snip)

Why the sudden growth spurt? The blustery weather — and brutal job market — are certainly part of it. But Paul Roof, assistant professor of sociology at Charleston Southern University in South Carolina, says there are other issues at play.

“For some it’s a trend, but for others it’s a way of life and simply self-expression,” he says. “At the heart of the revival, I think, is the ‘reclaiming of masculinity.’ Beards are a direct backlash against metrosexuality and the feminization of modern man. But beards are also the only accessory route that men have — the only way men can change their looks.”

You hear us, Mr. President? We’re hairy, we’re angry, and our ranks grew by 598,000 last month. It’s like Fight Club, only instead of beating the shit out of people and blowing stuff up, we’re blowing away your societal preconceptions with our rockin’ facial hair. Our beards demand to be heard! Our beards demand satisfaction!

Now, speaking for myself, after two weeks of unrestrained growth, my appearance began to scare young children, so I trimmed the beard back to a very stylish “Evil Genius” appearance:

(Above: Kneel before Zod!)

Nevertheless, I still maintain ultimate respect for those of my Facial Hair Brothers who choose to rock the full on Caveman look.

No doubt you, the new mustache or beard owner, have many questions concerning the awesome power your facial hair holds. Luckily, through the magic of the Interweb Tubes, I’ve discovered a series of training videos to help you find your way. You’re welcome.

I walked to the bus stop this morning after my appointment when I happened upon a five dollar bill folded and laying on the ground.

I thought, “Sweet! $5 rules”.

I picked up the money and unfolded it to put it in my wallet when I find this white powdery substance.

I think to myself. “This can’t be what I think it is”. Then I think, “You’ve been watching too much CSI it could be anything”.

So needless to say emptied the substance on the ground and wadded the money back up. I’m going to wash it when I get home today and let it dry.

Ahoy, mates!

So, do tell:

Where’s the best place to live in Seattle? Which are the best schools (public or private (for the children under 18))? Is it really so very rainy or is that just an urban legend?

I have reason to believe this may be in my (relatively) distant future:

http://depts.washington.edu/bioe/programs/phd/phd.html

NETFLIX gave me some odd recommendations today.

Obviously because I enjoyed Brian Regan: Standing Up & Jackass: The Movie I will therefore thoroughly enjoy Ultimate Fighting Championship 69: Shootout & Ultimate Fighting Championship 49: Unfinished Business.

I don’t pay attention to the recommendations as I don’t have a problem finding titles to stuff in my queue, I just happened to look in there today.  Anybody else get strange recommendations off of  NETFLIX?

I was tinkering around my apartment today and as will happen the mind will do it’s thing. I found myself thinking about my cousins across the state, which began my quest.

I’ve never understood the cousinology lingo (e.g. – 2nd & 3rd cousins, once or twice removed). I’ve never known, or bothered to find out, where to look that information up. Then a light bulb went off: Wikipedia!

One click ater entering the search query “Second Cousin” into my browser I was looking at the desired information. What I found after a short bit of reading was a bit startling:

The system can handle kinships going back many generations. In 2004, genealogists discovered that U.S. Presidential candidates George W. Bush and John Kerry shared a common ancestral couple in the 1500s. It was reported that the two men are sixteenth cousins, three times removed.^[1] However, the two are in fact ninth cousins, two times removed.^[2] Also, in 2007, it was revealed that U.S. vice president Dick Cheney and senator Barack Obama are eighth cousins.^[3]

It had to be shared.

Here’s the reference URLs:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4286105/

http://msn.ancestry.com/landing/strange/bush4/tree.htm

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21340764/

This wasn’t the worst year for me, but it has certainly been a year where I didn’t keep the only resolution I ever make: next year better than the last one, and there are all kinds of reasons for that, some in my control some not so much.

I’ve been considering ignoring every ‘best of album’ list that didn’t include Jesu’s Conqueror, but that just feels petty even for me. So I just add that album on to whatever list I see, and all feels right with the world. Other albums I’ve really dug on have been Bloc Party’s Weekend in the City (there’s a vein of unhappiness, or dissatisfaction in that record that speaks to me this year), Iron & Wine’s The Shepherd’s Dog and Machine Head’s The Blackening. Pelican’s new record was…strangely unfulfilling. They made a pop album (or what must be one for them) and now hopefully they’ll take those lessons to the next record. I felt a similar letdown with High On Fire’s new record, but perhaps this is because Blessed Black Wings set such a high bar-could any band top that?

Letdown might be a good word for how I look at 2007 just in overview.

Good things: seeing Jesu, Isis and Sunn O))) at various points during the year. Sunn O))) is like nothing I’ve seen and not many people are going to love it, but I did.

My Dad had quadruple bypass surgery a couple weeks ago. He’s currently recovering in a laz-e-boy at home. Home is in Henderson Nevada, a place he hates (and I also despise) but he’s been lucky to have people who can go visit and help him recover. He told me yesterday on the phone that it’s been quite an experience. I suggested that next time he read a book. He chuckled.

There has been various forms of depression plaguing either me or people close to me all fucking year. It’s been grueling. Sometimes there are reasons, events I could point to and say: I feel unhappy because of this. These reasons have included relationship freakouts, work lameness, internet drama (this was the first time I’d ever been threatened physically by strangers online), people close to me being sick or ‘downsized’ from work, and panda bears. Goddamn panda bears.

But there have also been times of malaise that just…exist. They cannot be explained, they just show up like emotionally radioactive orange clouds and I just have to wait for them to pass. It’s not been pleasant or fun, but I will say that there are some really great people around me to help cheer or console me.

2007 was the year ‘I don’t recall’ became a national catchphrase and apparently a valid excuse for being an utter fuckup. I cannot believe that the same evil genius who authored the “it’s ok for us to torture people” document (and that paper was evil at its finest) was suddenly struck with memory loss. His punishment: nothing.
Well, ok, he lost his job. Or ‘retired’, whatever. That’s not punishment, not in the; you fucked up and now you must atone for that, sense.

I am sure that I don’t have to exhaustively review the cowardice, lawbreaking, and general malfeasance of the US Gov’t and corporations that joined them-Halliburton, Blackwater, telecoms by the handful, for readers here. We’re all a pretty well informed bunch, but all that crap builds up and goes on the list of why 2007 can fuck off. Oh sure, Google’s fighting the good fight-but for how much longer?

And let’s not even get started on how badly the Democrats have shat on our collective hopes that things will be-or even could be- fixed. Truly an abhorrent year when it comes to US politics.

I had another friend who was struck with rectal cancer. When I moved to Portland and knew no one and had no idea where to go or look for anything, from doctors to bars, she helped guide me to interesting or useful places. She’s also recovered, but let’s just remember: rectal cancer. It’s the buzzkill of cancers, if anything is.

I spent a good portion of my year talking to someone who wasn’t even there to listen. This is how it goes, sometimes. A little madness now and again can sustain you. I’ve turned that around, so now I’m talking to myself. The audience might be the same, but the words are different now. Hopefully, that gets my mind around the bend, and into 2008 for improvements.

There were some awful, awful movies this year, and for some reason I’ve thrown myself at them. Pirates of the Caribbean 3 is one of the worst films I’ve seen in a long, long time. It felt like a mudball of plot and acting being thrown against a canvas of insane special effects, and you got to watch whatever stuck. It wasn’t fun, and starting doing things that made the previous movies seem like documentaries in their believability.
And Transformers. Dear god. I’m actually glad there’s going to be a sequel, because I’m hoping that it will follow the videogame sequel syndrome and improve as more get made. Given how slipshod and poorly done the first one was, it’s hard to imagine it being even worse. But a big ol’ middle finger to both Spielberg and Bay, for getting me to see a movie that I would never have set foot in if not for something I loved as a kid. Next time, make the movie about giant robots blowing shit up about giant robots blowing shit up, instead of the humans. Then when it comes time to do the giant robots blowing shit up sequence, hire someone to do it right, instead of making the incoherent mess of a climax that was the first film.

The powers that be have also fucked Spider Man up, as far as I’m concerned. Not the films, the comics. Being married, having a secret identity; these were good things I thought. They helped make Spidey stand out (not that one of the biggest icons in America and maybe the world needs much help) but no, someone else would rather see Spider Man even more hopeless than he usually is.
And fuckin’ kill off Aunt May, already. She’s old, and frail and it would’ve been a great chance to move the character forward, and maybe bring another character up to the forefront.

The best example of how to keep a story going that I can think off offhand has been Daredevil. Bendis ended his tale at it’s logical conclusion, and there was no reset button; instead they brought in Ed Brubaker to come in and write the story from there. Perfect! Sure, he’s returning the character to what he once had, but at least there’s a new story going on about how that works, instead of the usual deus ex machina that comic books so frequently use.

Since I moved in August, I’ve made 2 really shitty beers. 3rd time was the charm, thankfully-but it was an IPA that turned out like a brown ale. I hate it when things go wrong, and I don’t know why. In all 3 cases, I don’t understand what I’m doing that’s causing my beer to either not be hopped, or flat out taste like bar-b-que sauce. Something is wrong; hopefully I’ll get some advice on how to fix this, and soon. With the cost of beer ever rising, I can’t afford to fuck up.

Basically, a lot of the things I hoped would happen or work out this year didn’t, and sometimes it was me and sometimes it was everything else, but I’m truly ready for this year to end. It will in approximately 12 hours and yeah, I know it’s an arbitrary thing; everything about 2007 will bleed into 2008 because that’s the way it goes.

I’d still like for things to turn around a bit for me. And anyone, really, who’s had a crappy year; I am aware I’m not the only one. Cheers. I’ll catch you with a beer on the other side.

This was shown in schools in the 90s, but alas, I’m too old to have had the privilege.

And that’s the best part of having cancer — getting to spring it on people. I found out in February that I have cervical cancer — carcinoma in situ — which means, basically, that I have cancer but it hasn’t broken out of my cervix yet. I tried to hang on to the fact that what I have is not truly classified as frank cancer because it hasn’t invaded the surrounding structures, but my doc assured me that the cells appear cancerous under a scope. I gots the cancer, even if it is only in one of my reproductive organs. So, I go to have the better part of my cervix removed next Wednesday.

It would be a fair assessment to say that I am kind of devestated about this because I’d really like more children. And while having carcinoma in situ doesn’t preclude fertility or successful pregnancy, the procedure that I have to have done to get rid of it will negatively impact my ability to maintain a pregnancy, were I to release a mature egg that became magically, magically fertilized and then mysteriously implanted itself into my endometrium.

So, girls! Don’t be a prodigal daughter — get your pap on and get it on once every calendar year! I missed one annual exam (2006) and let me offer you my most resolute assurances — I wish I hadn’t. I’ve had “abnormal” paps before and even had to have some biopsies, but I never expected to have carcinoma in situ at 26. The crazy thing is that I tested negative for HPV — the prom queen of carcinogens. Sure, lots of things can predispose one to cervical cancer, but in my demographic, I think HPV is assumed with that diagnosis. My doctor said that, in all likelihood, my prediliction for the tobacco had something to do with the change in the cells. This, of course, came as a huge surprise, since I had no idea smoking was bad for you. </deadpan>

So, there that is. I have cancer but I won’t have it in a week or so because, with any luck, I’m going to have it all removed on Wednesday.

Kisses!

I’ve decided one of the things I love most about our generation is that we really made the internet what it is today. Which is not a cesspool of misinformation and a predator’s haven, because I don’t really believe that is so much our doing as it is the side effect of something being so widely used by all walks of life. Instead I would like to say that we have found ways to do great things with this tool. Whether it is creating a communal resource like Wikipedia which is only as good as the readers who contribute, and damn it’s good, or even a creating a space for up and coming creative minds to share their work for free and find their place and voice in this new social network.

I give you yet another example of what we couldn’t do as successfully without the great minds of our generation using the internet to achieve a goal. Rosa Loves. Enough said.