Back in 1994 when I was first in college, The Goat and I (and later KT) would head to Jack in the Box at Sunset Square for late night snacks. The Goat would get a bacon burger; I was fond of the curly fries with buttermilk dressing; KT became obsessed with Jack in the Box tacos.

We were running a risk by going to Jack in the Box of course — but not as a great a risk as you might assume. Those of you who remember the period remember that Jack in the Box suffered through one of the worst e-coli outbreaks in history, resulting in four deaths and hundreds of ill customers. Jack in the Box quickly changed their cooking processes to mitigate future risk, becoming one of the safest fast food franchises in the business. We knew this, so we accepted the risk, and snacked away, giving little thought to the other hidden dangers of fast food — the massive fat and salt intake. But that’s a topic for another time.

When the JetBlue fiasco happened last month, Dina and I paid attention. We had just purchased tickets for a flight to NYC on JetBlue, and so were worried that JetBlue was unraveling and becoming yet another crappy, abusive airline. But we took hope that perhaps this would teach JetBlue a lesson, and that they would use the lesson to insure themselves against future mishaps, just as Jack in the Box did in 1993. BusinessWeek and others hoped for the same, and it seemed like JetBlue was responding, instituting JetBlue’s Customer Bill of Rights.

Last night, with the threat of some snow a blizzard, JetBlue canceled ALL of its northeastern flights — including our red eye to NYC. JetBlue captured the attention of the news media this morning, as it was the first to start slashing schedules. And at first it seemed extremely premature–unnecessary, even. Now, though, there are over 1,000 cancellations in the region, and those who were seemingly going to operate through the storm (US Airways) have canceled everything as well.

I’m pretty certain we could have made it last night. We were scheduled to land at 8:00AM this morning at JFK, and things looked totally fine when we woke up at 7:30AM this moring (10:30, NYC time). I guess I can’t fault JetBlue for playing it safe . . . their reason for canceling things eary was so they could prep their staff for resuming travel once things are better. So hopefully this will pay off when we DO fly.

Dina and I are now schedule to fly to NYC on a red eye Sunday night, arriving Monday morning. This blows, as the whole reason for trip was to see Dina’s friend from Japan, who is flying out Monday afternoon. Hopefully we’ll get a couple of hours with her. I won’t see Theresa at all.

The worst that could happen at this point is for JetBlue to cancel or delay our Sunday night flight. At that point we’ll just fight for a refund and tell them to shove it. In some ways, though, we’re better off than those people who managed to get rescheduled for Saturday morning. There’s a better chance their flights will be canceled, in which case they’ll be screwed over again (and won’t be able to get on a Sunday flight, and maybe not Monday, because those are all booked).

On an up note, WOO, SPRING BREAK!!!! And WOO, ST. PATTY’S DAY!!!

Some pics:

Dina and I Pissed at JetBlue, God, The Weather

KT, Kindly Picking Us Up and Driving Us Home. Big UPs!

Dina, Looking Pretty

Those of you in other parts of the country with regularly bad weather can shut your ears. We whiny northwesterners want to talk about this strange white cold stuff that just fell on our heads.

OK, I missed the worst of it. I met Dina downtown at 4:30 yesterday, and proceeded to shop, eat, and watch movies in the winter wonderland paradise of downtown Seattle. The only thing that could’ve made it awesomer was if we would’ve ended the night skating at Rockefeller Center and kissing in front of the Waldorf-Astoria.

While were were frolicking in the holiday cheer, others in Seattle were peeing in cups and crashing into things. I have one co-worker who had a five-hour commute home last night, from Redmond to Woodinville. It took another co-worker only two and a half hours to go 12 miles on the bus. She stood in the aisle the whole way. I made it home from Dina’s at 11PM last night by driving completely empty roads and sliding down hills. 20 minutes. No problem.

This morning I decided that I SHOULD go to work, despite the protestations of my front steps and the exhortations of King 5 first alert weather. The bus commute to Redmond was one of the quickest ever. The freeways were completely clear of cars (though not of ice), and the chained-up buses handled it with ease. I started to regret NOT driving this morning, until we got our off-ramp, which was closed off to cars, due to the excavation of an overturned car from a ditch. Then I was glad I’d bussed it. Only about 1/10th of work showed, and the cafeteria is closed. Bah! (Pussies.)

Supposedly we’re not going to thaw out until mid-day tomorrow, which means another 24 hours of ice.

Don’t go where the huskies go, and do not eat that yellow snow.

Eighteen hours ago, I stepped off the plane. Twelve hours ago, I went to work. Two hours ago, I returned home from work. (At least that’s what I think I did, anyway. I haven’t slept in 39 hours, and I’m pretty sure that low, buzzing sound in my ears is the sound of my synapses fusing together. But I have learned some valuable lessons, I think…)

Okay, maybe “lessons” is too strong a word. “Lessons” would imply that my understanding of, and opinion on, the universe was anything less than 100% perfect to begin with. This is, of course, absurd. So let’s just call these nuggets of epistemilogical brilliance “observations,” shall we?

Observation the First: “Global Warming is a Myth,” MY ASS.
This one is, of course, a no-brainer to those of us with an IQ above room temperature, so one would assume it needs no repeating. Certainly, 99% of the human race, including approximately 100% of the reputable scientists, know that global warming caused by human beings is an incontrovertible fact. The only holdouts are End Times Fetishists, Corporate Whores, and apparently, Michael Crichton. Unfortunately, all of the above are present in abnormally large numbers here in the USA. (The first two, in fact, have a complete monopoly on our government.)

I propose, therefore, that we send the few, dimwitted holdouts to the East Coast of the US for final confirmation of this fact. I just spent two and a half weeks on the coast of Maine, a normally cool and temperate place which has, in just the past few years, achieved summertime temperatures, precipitation totals, and humidity levels frighteningly similar to those of South Florida. (The suffocating heat and humidity only abated for three days of torrential thunderstorms and hail, courtesy of Tropical Storm Beryl.)

In further point of fact, I propose we set up a forced labor camp for global warming deniers, and that said camp be located entirely in the house that my fiance recently inherited. I’m eminently certain that two-plus weeks of scraping old wallpaper, sanding, spackling, and painting in a 126-year-old, non-air conditioned house in 85% humidity will cure the delusions of even the dimmest of the ostriches. (On the plus side, I did manage to sweat off ten pounds, despite the fact that I subsisted for two weeks on a diet comprised entirely of ice cream, popsicles, and cold beer.)

I hear it was a tad warm here in Seattle, too. When coastal areas of New England and the Pacific Northwest are hitting 90+ degrees with regularity, something is deeply, seriously wrong with our planet.

Observation the Second: George W. Bush is the President of Israel.
Either that, or the Israelis are taking notes on “How to Conduct Foreign Policy” from ol’ Shrub himself. Think about it: Israel is attacked by a small gang of sadistic, criminal thugs, supplied and financed by a specific foreign power (Syria.) In response, Israel bombs the living fuck, not out of the thugs or the country that financed them, but out of a third party (Lebanon) that poses absolutely no military threat whatsoever to Israel. In the process, innocent civilians die by the bucketload.

Does this scenario ring a bell with anyone?

Observation the Third: USAir is evil.
No wonder the former employer of KB, Toft, and myself never booked our travel plans on USAir. Wow. First time I’ve ever flown them, and it will be the last. I booked these tickets four months ago, and in the intervening time, this bunch of mental pygmies cancelled and rebooked my itinerary, changing me from an 8am flight with one plane change to a 5pm flight with three plane changes…despite the fact that I had paid $50 extra specifically for the “luxury” of only one plane change.

And did I mention that, on one of the connections, I was afforded all of fifteen minutes between flights? If the departing flight hadn’t been delayed for an hour and a half, it would have left the gate before I even managed to disembark off my connecting flight and sprint across the entire airport. If not for that blessed delay, I could’ve been stuck in Philadelphia overnight. Nobody should ever be stuck in Philadelphia, either overnight or at any time of the day, for any reason at all.

Observation the Fourth: Beer is good.
Luckily, said mad sprint across five airport concourses did not damage the precious, precious bottles of Cadillac Mountain Stout and Bar Harbor Blueberry Ale in my backpack. During my vacation, I had taken a few hours away from spackling and painting to tour the Allagash Brewery with my old friends Sean and Nate. There, we literally wept tears of joy as we sampled the many fine, hideously strong Belgian style ales. However, since Allagash is one of the few Maine microbrews available here on the Left Coast, I opted to stuff my luggage with the somewhat more obscure, aforementioned brews.

Alas, since my backpack was not refrigerated, I was unable to bring back any boxes of Red Sox Ice Cream.

Which brings me to….

Observation the Fifth: Mariners fans are finally starting to get uppity.
I didn’t get back here in time to catch last weekend’s Sox-Mariners series at Safeco, but several of my cohorts went, and they said that the normally docile Seattleites are getting upset at being drowned out by the opposing team’s fans every time the Sox are in town. From what I hear, the fact there were not one but two booths outside Safeco Field selling Sox gear – but no Mariners gear – was the final insult.

While I’m not happy that my Sox lost two of three to the exceedingly mediocre Mariners, it does give me hope that the return engagement in August will provide some entertainment. Does this mean that Mariners fans will start showing up earlier than the second inning and stop leaving in droves after the seventh? Does this mean that, when we taunt them, they will stop meekly taking it and actually talk back?

I hope the hell so. I’ve already got my tickets for all three games on the 25th-27th of August. Center field bleacher seats, people. Seven bucks a pop. How about a Bunch Of Us field trip? C’mon, M’s fans. Are you gonna keep letting us outnumber you in your own stadium? Your very honor is at stake.

During the day, the sun melts the ice and snow so gradually that you don’t really realize their disappearance until patches of grass start appearing in the middle of the lawn, underneath the tree.

During the night, the deep Siberian freeze returns, creating an ever-widening sheet of massive ice. I can drive on ice now, which is a fun personal accomplishment. I’ve been able to drive on snow for years (3) now. Walking, however, remains dangerous at best. Who knows how much mail is loading up in our mailbox down the road because no one has the nerve to skate over and pick it up. Even the cats have difficulty navigating this ice-rink we call the path in front of our house.

Thankfully we’ve been kicking a small path from the back door to the car so we’re set to get out. Otherwise, my time is spent indoors and I’ve not even remotely longed for night photos or even day photos; the former being too dreadfully cold, the latter being too dreadfully boring.

With March right around the corner, I fantasized this cold and misery would snap out of it. That one day very soon, all the snow would magically disappear, little buds on the trees peeking out and bathing in the crisp morning sunlight. An afternoon walk possible with just regular shoes instead of knee-high rubber boots with three pairs of wooly socks.

I’m told that this is one of the longest, snowiest winters in decades. Snow made its first strong showing just after Christmas and hasn’t stopped since. Not constant snowfall, but a constant reminder that this is winter. Sometimes the cold is so mean it hurts to breathe. Then it warms up just enough to resume snowing.

Today’s forecast (confirmed by looking out my window): blizzard conditions and 6 inches of new snow.